Like most moms, I pride myself on trying to do what is best for my children and sacrificing everything I can for their better good. Almost to a fault. As a person that likes to learn from her mistakes, when Beaner was born, I decided I was going to do everything right that I did wrong with my other two. Beaner was going to be cloth diapered, organically fed, carried in a carrier, breastfed until she no longer wanted and coslept. That is where the bad momma part comes in.
Ok, enough small talk. The fact is...well, Beaner fell out of bed last night. There it is. I said it. I was woken to a horrible cry that was simultaneous with my hubby jumping out of bed after he heard the thud. I know what your thinking. You've dropped, tripped over, yelled too loud or did some other bad momma move at some point. You see Rooster and Peanut have both been dropped so I was determined not to drop the Beaner. Remember I'm being perfect momma this time?
This falling was followed by me staying up most of the night constantly making sure she was breathing and analyzing every groan that she made. She is totally fine although I'm certain she will have nightmares of falling for a lifetime to come. As for me, I waded in a bath of self pity all day over what a horrible mom I was only to decide I was a horrible mom for engaging in this selfish behavior with 3 little ones suffering my wrath. I can't for the life of me figure out how it happened but I beat myself up all day long and have decided it is time to start fresh tomorrow.
I did put her crib together though...